Aggravated.

I love I'm supposed to act like an adult and god forbid if something isn't quite right- but its alright for other people to act ridiculous. What are we five? Throwing something across the room isn't going to make things better, in fact it just shows off how ridiculous and childish your temper gets. Also, lets run into someone on purpose just to make a point. UGH. Seriously....


I cannot wait to move on campus next semester. August 5, 2011 can't get here soon enough.

On a different note:
Dad and I talked about how I want to move to the coast but that there aren't any schools that offer a MSW degree and I just feel like I am settling. I have already resigned myself to the fact I'm going to be an old cat lady, with a test tube sperm donated baby, no husband and not able to go where I want, which is everywhere and anywhere. Why can't I at least move somewhere nice and get my degree from a school that I want? I hate money. I hate the fact that it determines what I do. Today actually, I hate a lot of things. I guess you could say that I am aggravated to say the least. I am almost 21 years old (4 days) and I'm only 45 % satisfied with my life this far.... I'm getting a great education, I love my sorority sisters (my Big and Little are amazing), My family is supportive, but there is a part of me that feels like something is missing.

Why can't I figure it out?

Bid Day: Fall 2010, one of my best memories. My big and I couldn't talk all summer- She's in the picture above and on Bid Day, I met my little for the first time. =]
She has a hair of gold, and her eyes are blue and her cheeks are rosy too.
And on her chest she wears the crest of the X and the old Horseshoe,
She ran around with every frat in town, many hearts were broken when she turned them down,
She's the very best girl in the whole wide world, she's a Chi Omega girl.

Hooties, Cuties and Rainbows

There is one song, that I must have played at my wedding. Preferably when I walk down the aisle at the beach. It's been in my head all day- and this song always makes me tear up.



It's so beautiful.

So, in 7 days I will be 21, and in 6 days my best friend will be married. It's so hard to imagine that soon she'll be over in England and I'll be here in the states not knowing what to do with myself. We joke about how neither of us knew how to function properly until the other one came along. She has been more of a best friend to me than anyone else has been or even knows. I'm gonna bawl my eyes out at the airport. But, since she doesn't know what day she's leaving yet- we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
In other news, we got beautiful new babies in our chapter! We had their bid day friday! The only person missing was my little, who is utterly amazing. So, for your viewing pleasure: New babies, and my little, and my little's basket. My Big and I have this saying that if sorority life has taught us anything its, #1) to be sisterly #2) to paint #3) to make crafts and #4) to make baskets. It should go on our resume.Two of these pics are older, like little's basket is from october and the one with her jersey is from 1/29/11, her initiation day. =]

I guess I should preface this by saying this is basically the third blog I have started this year. I keep getting locked out of my others, they say my passwords don't work, and that my e-mail doesn't work in the system. It's aggravating, but I suppose I'll get over it. It just sucks when people start following me and they disappear. Anyway, to pick up where I left off, "Project 365" is still in effect, though since my accounts got screwed up, I guess I'll start over from today. The picture for today is from my best friend Brittany' bachelorette shindig. It went well. She got wasted (She just turned 21 too btw) and she looked precious even though she didn't like the crown at first. Too bad I'm an t maid of honor and wanted her to look precious. haha.

So, updates on my life?

• I got an RA position.
• I am about to be 21
• I am philanthropy chair for my sorority
• My room and car are clean (its a miracle)

On the flip-side and for more serious consideration, I was in my sociology of religion class and we had this speaker today who came in and talked about religion and struggle and a few things he said really stood out to me.

1. "Many people believe in Jesus, but don't follow him"
   
2. "Jesus was not baptist. He was Jewish. He did not dismiss his heritage, he built upon it."
3. (looking at religion) "People commit themselves to being unhappy."
   
4. "There are stages of faith."

So, the first one. Numero Uno. There are so many people who are focused on the theological ideals and doctrines that they forget to follow the believes and path he set before us. The path is easy and three fold: Love god, love your neighbor, know you are loved.

Numero Dos: This is an interesting notion. After visiting Sha'raey Israel and listening to the Rabbi discuss Judaism and Christian beliefs, she said there is not "Judeo-Christian" view or belief. Jesus was not baptist. That's right. No where does he claim baptists are the higher law and religions sect. He was Jewish. Through and through. He just elaborated on what he already knows. Why can't we do that? Or I guess maybe its just me... I just want to elaborate on something I struggle with. I guess because I'm not divinely sent I don't have that liberty.

Numero Tres: The speaker was talking about how religion itself is a struggle and that without struggle, Christianity would go flat. So, the religious life = a life of struggle. Great. I don't know if I can commit myself for being unhappy all the time. Wasn't it Marx that said religion is the opiate of the people? What happened to religion being a refuge? and last,

Numero cuatro?: The stages of religion. My favorite part of everything:

1. Santa Claus Phase- It's childish, an imaginary sense of god, story telling and what not.
   
2. Laws/Rules Stage - He mentions that people get stuck on ideas or rules. Where my family is from, Churches adhere to a man-made body of lawgivers who lay our rules and such. The speaker points out that people see that "this is the truth" and that people get stuck here.... Touche. They do, they do.
   
3. Acceptance Stage - Where one finally realizes and accepts the ambiguity in the world and within their self.
   

This man just fascinated me. Of course, religion is a hot topic for me, so it doesn't take much. My philosophy? I'm stealing a little from him here, "Love always triumph's law"

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt - ONE, U2